Justice is My Copilot @Paperclippe@witches.town

Feeling really withdrawn today, but excited about a couple of things. A friend asked me to play at a show with him. Will be my first show in like ten years. Looking forward to going home and playing the guitar. And singing.

Have actually gotten pretty good at playing Norma John's Blackbird, which was one of my favorite Eurovision songs last year. And it's exactly sad enough.

Music has been helping me take my mind off of things. Partner bought my guitar picks tonight. Have been playing a little bit more, and shocker, I'm getting better.

Turns out if you practice something you get better at it. What a concept.

@Paperclippe I’m sure it was just damaged in shipping or something and went flat but man, way to ruin my evening, at least for a little while. Bleh.

One of the beers I bought and was really looking forward to drinking was punctured. Took a sip before I realized it. Now I’m paranoid I’ve been poisoned or something. I called the pizza place to let them know and they offered me a replacement the next time I came in which was sweet but I feel really gross and suspicious now.

Mood and/or level of exhaustion: moved to absolute tears by Fake Plastic Trees

@Paperclippe Answer? Fucking nowhere

When you’re trying to be a good employee so you get to work extra early but your boss isn’t here yet and you don’t have keys and your only abiding thought is, “Where the fuck can I get a pack of cigarettes at this time of the morning?”

@Nocta Your english is perfect. :)

And thanks very much. I'm not sure... I don't know how to say this without sounding insensitive. I"m not sure it's his death that I'm grieving over. It's just sometimes I"ll feel this way and be reminded of him and think, "Ah, there's that option," but totally unprompted, like it's not my own thought. It reminds me of him. And I do miss him, terribly.

But again, thank you. A lot.

@Dalmaty Thanks. Me too. It's been weird.

I just need to get this off of my chest, that... occasionally the idea will pop into my head. It's a thing that exists there. I'll think of ramming something through my chest or my head when I hurt. Think of just stopping breathing - which was a thing I used to do as a kid a lot, just hold my breath when I was upset.

I'm not really sure if there's a point to all of this.

Famous last words, eh?

I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately.

Not in the sense that it's... something I want to do - god that even sounds trite to write, who wants to - or am going to, but... I've just been thinking about it. A friend of mine took his own life earlier this year, and though I haven't told too many people (anyone really, outside of the context of my migraines), I"ve been in almost constant pain, physical and emotional, though mostly emotional, the physical came later, for a while.

Again, I don't want to worry anyone or concern anyone. I'm not taking steps or anything.

Dearest Margaret: The autumn has been hard. It is now November 1 and my library system still does not have a copy of The Familiar vol 5.

I fear cataloging has forgotten about me, but I must hold out hope.

Tell the children I love them.

Yours in my darkest hour,
-M

@benhamill thanks. :3

https://witches.town/media/6gONPxAv0-UBX9BN-CQ https://witches.town/media/PHXvFfLEj567f7qHsxg

Hey, do you like stories about mysterious networks of tunnels underneath small towns in Indiana?

Do you like it when those networks of tunnels lead to other worlds that are killing the land and leaking evil creatures into reality?

How about when only brunette women with mysteriously acquired magical powers who go by the moniker "El" are the only ones who can stop evil?

THEN CHECK OUT THIS STORY I WROTE FOR NANOWRIMO THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO I'M SORRY I REALLY JUST CAN'T GET OVER THIS

FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Wow. You know how one little thing can just absolutely fucking crush you?

Yeah

That