I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately.

Not in the sense that it's... something I want to do - god that even sounds trite to write, who wants to - or am going to, but... I've just been thinking about it. A friend of mine took his own life earlier this year, and though I haven't told too many people (anyone really, outside of the context of my migraines), I"ve been in almost constant pain, physical and emotional, though mostly emotional, the physical came later, for a while.

Again, I don't want to worry anyone or concern anyone. I'm not taking steps or anything.

I just need to get this off of my chest, that... occasionally the idea will pop into my head. It's a thing that exists there. I'll think of ramming something through my chest or my head when I hurt. Think of just stopping breathing - which was a thing I used to do as a kid a lot, just hold my breath when I was upset.

I'm not really sure if there's a point to all of this.

Famous last words, eh?