Ordalia @Ordalia@witches.town

I'm not sure where this need to be better comes from, but this poisonous line of thinking where I *have* to be superior is definitely affecting me way more than it should and I'm not sure how to deal with this.
I've always been used to being naturaly more talented than others at doing most tasks I had a remote interest in life, and I know that I can do better, so whenever I am unable to do so I just get incredibly frustrated to the point where I start doubting my own worth.
It's possible I take this to heart so much because videogames are probably one of the only things in my life right now.

Something I do very often is play games online, and I enjoy them a lot. More specifically, I enjoy them a lot when I win. I can't have fun with fighting games, or any game in general when I don't come out on top. And as time goes by, it's been affecting me more and more. Whenever I'm pinned down without the ability to react in any way, I'm overtaken with this deep feeling of self-loating and hate, and that my skill as player reflects my value as a person. My losses feel more and more personal when they happen.

@luluberlu Je lisais ça et j'ai tout de suite pensé à toi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witzelsucht

@Sylvhem J'ai l'habitude à force !

@Sylvhem C'est limite un running gag parce que j'arrête pas de me faire mal toute seule de façon totalement improbable

@clovery Skost dick is currently on my list for the hellparty

@clovery Nothing could make me happier, my two favorite things, you and to be dead

@clovery This suicide really cemented our friendship as I am now obligated to haunt you forever

@Nocta ça m'arrivait tout le temps ce genre de cascades quand j'étais plus petite, aujourd'hui je les fais chez moi donc la honte est au moins partiellement contenue

@clovery Yeah what if I kill you

@Nocta Seulement à mon estime

J'ai glissé sur une pile. Une pile. Qui traînait là. J'ai suis tombé tête la première.
Réflexion immédiate de ma meilleure amie: "T'es tombée pile ou face ?"

I'm always scared that a friend online would just suddenly die and I'd never know about it.

@Dalmaty https://witches.town/media/TxzCV2zQIBmyJXHpbiQ

https://witches.town/media/TpyZHnwix_6lmjfX69Q

@clovery I'll come back with the newest pet boys schematics

@clovery We need to revise our boy blueprints

@blacia Non mais c'est facile, suffit de faire des efforts, de montrer que t'as envie