old murkrow @Murkrow@witches.town

Since it's been made apparent that people like me aren't welcome here, I'm off to @Murkrow for a bit while I consider my next move

New alignment chart of lawful/neutral/chaotic and breakfast/lunch/dinner

Past Conditional would have been able to suck my butt >:C

6 more! Almost there!

French people please don't spoil the ending

7 more DuoLingo skills and I'll run out of new things to learn 💪 😤

A very soft little "harnk. harnk. harnk. harnk. harnk", but determined and unceasing

Something outside is honking softly once every two seconds like clockwork

mood of the evening is Fussy And Restless apparently

*directed at a baby* "okay so there's your cappuccino, did your mummy want anything?" = your mummy looks stressed as hell, let's see if we can get a laugh out of her

"Hi buddy! Can I interest you in being on the other side of the safety barrier?" = you have 0.0003 seconds before I pick your toddler up and throw them back onto the appropriate side of the barrier

(Note this is tongue in cheek, my personal system for punishing assholes is purposely not wishing them enjoyment but if your barista didn't say "enjoy" you're probably fine so long as you haven't actually thrown anything at them :p)

Secret barista language demystified!
"There you go, enjoy!" = you've been nice, enjoy your purchase
"There you go, thank you!" = thanks for your money I guess
"There you go!" = take your shit and fuck off back to Mordor you fucking wretch

Aw shit big thing of WATERCOLOUR PENCILS I bought in 2008 and forgot about 👌

Cleaning update: found thirty-five IKEA pencils from when an old housemate gave me a bouquet of IKEA pencils for my birthday

If I was a game I'd be a pet simulator like Magikarp Jump or that molamola game where your incredibly shitty pet gets marginally less shitty over the course of three hundred generations