old murkrow @Murkrow@witches.town
Je fais de mon fucking mieux, Barbara.
26 | UK | they/them | phototropically boggled
🇬🇧 h*ck yeah | 🇫🇷 j'apprends
@netkitty what a smart and observant kitty! Good job!
@netkitty good kittens also learn from their mistakes!
have you learned anything about chewing on wires?
@englebright @memhaz of course the sun's not a fuckin furry @jk jfc
@bentosmile @candle you got it literally just because you're cute!
@candle "I'm afraid we don't have [necessary thing] so I can't make that for you" = where on the menu did you see that??? Fucking nowhere that's where
"Well it's not a menu item, but uh... what's it composed of? I can certainly try!" = it's not on the menu but you're cute/sweet so go on then
@Murkrow "sorry but we don't do that" = no really please don't make me performatively ask the chef just to satisfy you
*directed at a baby* "okay so there's your cappuccino, did your mummy want anything?" = your mummy looks stressed as hell, let's see if we can get a laugh out of her
"Hi buddy! Can I interest you in being on the other side of the safety barrier?" = you have 0.0003 seconds before I pick your toddler up and throw them back onto the appropriate side of the barrier
(Note this is tongue in cheek, my personal system for punishing assholes is purposely not wishing them enjoyment but if your barista didn't say "enjoy" you're probably fine so long as you haven't actually thrown anything at them :p)
@ebeth "ooh, whatcha got there buddy?" = you seem fine as a person but your baby has grabbed something and we're seconds from catastrophe
@Murkrow
"There you go, have a good day!" = look you seem fine as a person but I really need you to stop chatting and leave so I can help other people
Secret barista language demystified!
"There you go, enjoy!" = you've been nice, enjoy your purchase
"There you go, thank you!" = thanks for your money I guess
"There you go!" = take your shit and fuck off back to Mordor you fucking wretch
@bentosmile crochet a king cobra :p
adverts, death mention Afficher plus
if anything i could say that this take was rare
Aw shit big thing of WATERCOLOUR PENCILS I bought in 2008 and forgot about 👌
Cleaning update: found thirty-five IKEA pencils from when an old housemate gave me a bouquet of IKEA pencils for my birthday
@netkitty hooray! Let's go find something!