old murkrow @Murkrow@witches.town

If I was a game I'd be a pet simulator like Magikarp Jump or that molamola game where your incredibly shitty pet gets marginally less shitty over the course of three hundred generations

@netkitty a passenger! You wanna go somewhere together?

@netkitty oh hold up let me put my gameboy away

Okay full attention is on the kitten, what can I do for you?

Any size 7s local to me want fifteen hundred fucking shoes?

"How many pairs of shoes can one person own?" I wail at the sky as I throw three more pairs in the charity shop bag

@envgen as if I ever would

@envgen as if I ever would

@linhares 😱

@linhares she didn't like it and was angry and disappointed and there were helicopters. I have no idea what the helicopters did to her to make her warn strangers away but there we go.

@firecoals I personally just used to go with lipbalm, coloured eyeliner, mascara and my secret weapon which is white eyeliner in the lower waterline to make eyes look wider and more alert. Gives an appearance of "I scrub up relatively nicely" without looking like you've tried too hard or are treating the interview like a social thing.

@envgen gotta buy them in person from the mermaid market under the pier, it's a glass float with a demon stuck in it

@envgen get a Stench Orb, the demon inside eats smells

Completely different customer, very sober, warning me not to go to Australia? Why's everyone so concerned with my travel arrangements suddenly?

I couldn't have my coffee and now my bones are So Heavy

@candle ♑: russian yoga

@candle ♉: moist owlette

@candle no wait ♉ is that owl getting misted by a hose and expanding into a sphere with wings

@candle ♉: that gif of the news anchor in a hurricane getting hit by a stop sign

Every night at 11pm my phone goes "beep beep, go to bed!"

Every night, without fail, I go to bed eiher three hours before that or three hours after