Morgane, vache-lapine d'amour @Morgane@witches.town

What the fuck is amisulpride meant to do ? It's a neuroleptic that acts as an anxiolytics too but can also cause anxiety at low dosage.

It is meant to prevent severe depressive episode yet it depends on the dosage and with the 100mg I have to take daily, I have no fucking idea what will happen.

So if you have any information on that I'll gladly take it.

Yet I feel like not sleeping more than a few hours this night.

Maybe now is the time for me to go to her side, since she must be asleep and I might bring her some recomfort in her dreams simply by being at her side if a nightmare pops up.

Btw i'm a privileged person on many point and I check my privileges every day. I know that an I stand against oppressions of all kinds.

But I also am an oppressed person, that can't even stand for herself. So yeah, not exactly the most helpful person on earth.

Just so you know that when I complain, I know of how lucky I am on many points.

*tries not to mess up too much with my meds*

It feels like try and try again. I test things until I find something that's working, however the side-effect are so that I need another treatment.

And always things for emergencies, because there always are cases it's useful.

Hopefully I am serious enough not to take meds the wrong way. I hope. Uh.

If by chance I happen not to be there when you need me, it might be because my mind already has wandered too far and that if you want my support, you shall first bring me back to your side, however hard it is.

That's what it is living with me, however since I have to be strong, I'm strong enough to be there, sometimes too late, yet be there, although every part of my mind is crumbling and turning to dust and shadows.

[Lyrics]

I will never be afraid again,
I will keep on fighting till' the end,
I can walk on water, I can fly ~

[Lyrics]

Follow me through the night,
We're sisters of the light,
We are wild, we are free,
Through the darkness follow me ~

Today I'm stopping tercian (cyamemazine) and starting amisulpride 100mg.

I took it let's say 30 mins ago and I have no fucking idea what to expect. If you have informations on that, I'll gladly take them !

Also my antidepressor dosage got doubled, effexor (venfalaxine) now to normal dosage (70 mg) since it had no effect up to here.

And today sadly is the first day I took 2 valium (diazepam) in the same day. Also hopefully I wasn't stupid enough not to take it, since I guess it's what allows me to express myself and not crubmle under the weight of my own thoughts.

[Lyrics]

We're the fires of hell,
We're the deep rough sea,
We're the stormy air.

We are we,
We're the ashes of time,
And we are banshee.

J'ai quand même bien choisi mon prénom je trouve. Même si en vrai mon prénom m'est venu comme une évidence, telle qu'il ne pouvait y en avoir d'autre.

Au final mon prénom m'est mien, par lui-même. Et que ce soit de mon interprétation ou de ma rêverie, ce prénom résonne avec chacun des pas que je prends dans la vie.

Drapée de nuit, un vol de trois corneilles qui prends son essor dans la voute nocturne.

L'une lutte contre le vent et bat si fort des ailes qu'elle écarte tous les nuages du ciel, révélant la lune et les étoiles.

La seconde, se laisse porter et se retrouve loin des rivages connus, seule et égarée. Elle se pose sur la barque du passeur millénaire et attends.

La troisième cesse de battre des ailes et, emportée, voit ses plumes partir les unes après les autres, chacune apportant présage ou blessure aux personnes qui la contemplent.

Trois corneilles, trois histoires pour une même entité, pour un même avenir aux différents reflets.

Je souhaite la paix de l'esprit de la princesse qui a amené de la lumière dans ma vie.

Je souhaite du bonheur à la femme qui me fait vibrer chaque jour sur la corde de l'euphorie.

Je souhaite de la chaleur et du réconfort à la louve qui a pris soin de moi dans l'hiver.

Je souhaite de l'innocence et des pensées simples et belles, des câlins et de la joie pour la petite chatte qui s'endort quelques chambres à côté.

Que la dragonne qui peine à trouver le repos puisse avoir un sommeil réparateur et des jours à venir heureux.

Well well

I wish for peace.
For others, for my mind.
For everything.

From "depressed : mild" to "depressed : severe". Sometimes I don't like filling the mood tracker.