My favorite part of the bdsm is how links between people evolve for a moment. I don't really like the "community" part of the bdsm, which is often elitist and repeat society's norms while trying to avoid looking like it.

It's all different according to partners and it's mandatory to take that into account. I lived both wonderful, frustrating, and horrible moments.

But in my "ideal" relationship : it differs with the partner and paying attention to that partner allows to discover many new things. Which means there is no ideal bdsm relationship. But all of those with attentive people have a chance to blossom beautifully.