Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
I'm only writing this because I feel like I need to after yesterday evening.
Advices aren't for people having panic attack. I don't even know if it's possible to do anything in such case. I can't.
It's for people around that can see someone having a panic attack. For those who can support.
It's based on my own experience, and I am no expert. It simply is what I think, in my case, might help. Each person is different so don't take it for granted that what I say works the same for everybody.
I'll repeat it once again but it's only some advices based on my own experience, and I may not have much.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Panic attack happen in my case in random life situation. It can be at home, in the street, at the supermarket, after a good moment or whatever. In my situation there are little clues that a panic attack may arise soon. Especially : anxiety going up slowly then fast. I start to have troubles keeping my hands/fingers calm, etc. Well, no doubt it's different for different people.
But it can happen basically anywhere and it doesn't have to be the fault of anybody. If possible, try to find a calm place where there aren't any other people.
Calm helps, and as for myself I become incredibly afraid of people and of anyone looking at me.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Never force someone having a panic attack to do anything.
The person must agree. You can explain (slowly), and lead the person to a calm place. If the person can wait a bit before the panic rise to high heights, it gives you a bit of time.
Else, too late, but I know that in my case, if you force me to go somewhere, it will only worsen everything.
In the same regard, never hug or touch someone having a panic attack without asking first.
A hug can seem reconforting to your eyes. It might be pure terror to be touched for someone panicking. It is in my case. Even from the person I love the most.
Ask. Wait. Ask again if needed. Wait.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
If the person tells you it's ok for you to touch them, it's fine, but don't rush it.
Pay attention. If the person tries to reach you, be there. If the person tries to tell you to not look : don't look. Be there. It might seem stupid but trust me, it isn't at all.
If the person is afraid of something, ask what. Try to do something about it. In my case I become extremely afraid of direct lights, even the ones far away. I become afraid of sounds, sometimes of open doors, sometimes of closed doors, sometimes of walls, etc.
It isn't rational. But if you can help, ask and try. Don't do things without asking or listening closely first.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Sometimes you want to help. You hug the person, you switch the lights off, you close the door, etc. And it worsen the situation.
It's to avoid such cases I'm telling you this. It will basically make you feel guilty, and make the person suffering (I think I can use that word) the panic attack feel terribly afraid.
Ask. If you are told to go away, you can always ask a second time. But never go far. Always be there and listen.
I sometimes run away. I sometimes tell my gf to let me alone. And call her for help a few seconds later. It isn't rational, but a panic attack isn't lead by reason.
Don't abandon the person.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Also : take care for yourself. Someone having a panic attack can be extremely stressful. You don't know how to react, you might hurt the person in doing something too fast, or simply by making noise, etc. Mistakes happen.
But the person having a panic attack CAN'T take care of you ! Sometimes I see how people around me feel. I want to help them, feel like it's all my fault. But I can't, and don't realize it's not my fault.
If it's too hard for you, rest and take care for yourself. Try to breathe slowly, and know that panic attacks won't last forever.
It's only a moment. A hard one, but don't forget to take care for yourself too.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
You won't be able to help anyone if yourself start panicking, and it's normal and not your fault, it's a very stressful situation.
Usually, I start to be sorry about everything when I panic. About my thoughts, about who I am, about what I do (feeling like everything wrong in the world is my fault).
It's hard to remember good moments when in panic.
Support the person, tell the person it's ok, that it not their fault, that they don't have to be sorry / that it's all ok, ...
Sometimes you will have to say it multiple time. It's not because nothing seems to change, that the person is still in panic, that you're not helping. Really.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
If possible, try to have some water near. Drinking a bit of water helps me when the hardest part is over.
Same if the person has anything that can help (I have no meds so idk in such cases), plushies or whatever.
But don't leave the person alone without asking them first. Sometimes someone that take care of us when the panic attack is here is more important than anything else. Ask, always.
Also I for myself have a really hard time with my hands and fingers when panicking. I have troubles for holding anything simple or taking a tissue, etc.
So do things slowly. Hold the glass of water until the person holds it well and say its ok.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Try to have some good (and calm) moments when everything is over. Even if the person gets randomly full of energy (it happens sometimes in my case), a panic attack is extremely exhausting.
One panic attack can be followed by others at small-medium intervals, that's how it works for me. But only if stressful situations happen again, mainly. So keep calm, and if there anything to do that you can like cooking, do it simple and do it if you can (don't force yourself if you can't either).
I know it seems a lot. But I guess any person that suffers from panic attacks will be very grateful for your help. Sincerely.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
There are many things I might have forgotten but here is what came to my mind. To sum up, if someone is having a panic attack :
-find a calm place
-be there
-don't touch, hug, switch the lights off, etc, without asking and waiting for an answer
-take care for yourself
-it's scary but it has an end
-listen and pay attention
-do things slowly and remember the person might not have as much dexterity as usual
-avoid harsh lights, sounds, etc
-stay at calm after
Thanks a lot if you are here for anyone suffering from panic attack. Yet, take care for yourself too. Don't blame yourself for being the cause of panic or not knowing what to do.
love / thanks to my gf Afficher plus
I want to thank @ZeldAurore for everything. She helps me, respects me, asks and take care of me when I can't take care of myself. I am lucky, and I feel like I will never be able to thank her enough. There is no reward for helping me when I'm feeling bad, except my gratitude, and the fact I'm feeling better after. I am grateful beyond words and filled with love toward her.
It makes me sad to feel like a burden when I panic, but I know it's not my fault. I do my best. But sometimes it's too hard. She brings me help, and it's extremely important to me.
So... thanks.
(btw if you read this, I love you Aurore ! I love you so much !)
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Big emphasis on "listen and pay attention" and don't do anything without asking. I'm used to dealing with my episodes alone and unless we are intimate and have a strong trust bond i need you to leave me alone. If i'm getting away, and tell you not to follow, do not follow.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
@Morgane thank you very much for all these precious informations.
Advices : panic attack Afficher plus
Tissues, water, etc, are usually when the panic attack is coming to an end.
But it's still extremely easy for the panic to come back, at least in my case. So : be calm. Don't think it's over because the person stops screaming/crying (it might happen, it might be scary but it's ok, it's just panic and it will fade soon) or has just drank a glass of water.
If the person needs to talk, be there. Listen. It's mainly about listening and paying attention.
I usually try to understand why the panic attack occured, but that's me. Anyways, simply be there, ask if you want to do something, and listen, pay attention. Do things slowly.