Sometimes you want to help. You hug the person, you switch the lights off, you close the door, etc. And it worsen the situation.

It's to avoid such cases I'm telling you this. It will basically make you feel guilty, and make the person suffering (I think I can use that word) the panic attack feel terribly afraid.

Ask. If you are told to go away, you can always ask a second time. But never go far. Always be there and listen.

I sometimes run away. I sometimes tell my gf to let me alone. And call her for help a few seconds later. It isn't rational, but a panic attack isn't lead by reason.

Don't abandon the person.

Also : take care for yourself. Someone having a panic attack can be extremely stressful. You don't know how to react, you might hurt the person in doing something too fast, or simply by making noise, etc. Mistakes happen.

But the person having a panic attack CAN'T take care of you ! Sometimes I see how people around me feel. I want to help them, feel like it's all my fault. But I can't, and don't realize it's not my fault.

If it's too hard for you, rest and take care for yourself. Try to breathe slowly, and know that panic attacks won't last forever.

It's only a moment. A hard one, but don't forget to take care for yourself too.

You won't be able to help anyone if yourself start panicking, and it's normal and not your fault, it's a very stressful situation.

Usually, I start to be sorry about everything when I panic. About my thoughts, about who I am, about what I do (feeling like everything wrong in the world is my fault).

It's hard to remember good moments when in panic.

Support the person, tell the person it's ok, that it not their fault, that they don't have to be sorry / that it's all ok, ...

Sometimes you will have to say it multiple time. It's not because nothing seems to change, that the person is still in panic, that you're not helping. Really.

If possible, try to have some water near. Drinking a bit of water helps me when the hardest part is over.

Same if the person has anything that can help (I have no meds so idk in such cases), plushies or whatever.

But don't leave the person alone without asking them first. Sometimes someone that take care of us when the panic attack is here is more important than anything else. Ask, always.

Also I for myself have a really hard time with my hands and fingers when panicking. I have troubles for holding anything simple or taking a tissue, etc.

So do things slowly. Hold the glass of water until the person holds it well and say its ok.

Tissues, water, etc, are usually when the panic attack is coming to an end.

But it's still extremely easy for the panic to come back, at least in my case. So : be calm. Don't think it's over because the person stops screaming/crying (it might happen, it might be scary but it's ok, it's just panic and it will fade soon) or has just drank a glass of water.

If the person needs to talk, be there. Listen. It's mainly about listening and paying attention.

I usually try to understand why the panic attack occured, but that's me. Anyways, simply be there, ask if you want to do something, and listen, pay attention. Do things slowly.

Try to have some good (and calm) moments when everything is over. Even if the person gets randomly full of energy (it happens sometimes in my case), a panic attack is extremely exhausting.

One panic attack can be followed by others at small-medium intervals, that's how it works for me. But only if stressful situations happen again, mainly. So keep calm, and if there anything to do that you can like cooking, do it simple and do it if you can (don't force yourself if you can't either).

I know it seems a lot. But I guess any person that suffers from panic attacks will be very grateful for your help. Sincerely.

There are many things I might have forgotten but here is what came to my mind. To sum up, if someone is having a panic attack :

-find a calm place
-be there
-don't touch, hug, switch the lights off, etc, without asking and waiting for an answer
-take care for yourself
-it's scary but it has an end
-listen and pay attention
-do things slowly and remember the person might not have as much dexterity as usual
-avoid harsh lights, sounds, etc
-stay at calm after

Thanks a lot if you are here for anyone suffering from panic attack. Yet, take care for yourself too. Don't blame yourself for being the cause of panic or not knowing what to do.

I want to thank @ZeldAurore for everything. She helps me, respects me, asks and take care of me when I can't take care of myself. I am lucky, and I feel like I will never be able to thank her enough. There is no reward for helping me when I'm feeling bad, except my gratitude, and the fact I'm feeling better after. I am grateful beyond words and filled with love toward her.

It makes me sad to feel like a burden when I panic, but I know it's not my fault. I do my best. But sometimes it's too hard. She brings me help, and it's extremely important to me.

So... thanks.
(btw if you read this, I love you Aurore ! I love you so much !)

Big emphasis on "listen and pay attention" and don't do anything without asking. I'm used to dealing with my episodes alone and unless we are intimate and have a strong trust bond i need you to leave me alone. If i'm getting away, and tell you not to follow, do not follow.

@Morgane thank you very much for all these precious informations.