How did I become such a slut, craving for being used, for pleasing, for being fucked silly all day long, for caress and kisses ?

And why do I love people... I mean, I love people for what they are and... there are many people I have feelings toward and that I make feel happy ! But all in different ways.

Which has nothing to do with the fact I'm a slut.

But maybe the two can go together ? I don't know. Does it makes me a bad person ? I have been told that it doesn't.

But... it's so new. I am such a horny, naughty, little slut. I want to serve and obey and be tied and held firmly, grabbed and taken deep, used over and over again.

...Fuck.

It's so that I have troubles focusing, as soon as I'm aroused, and I always am aroused. My ability to focus on things has just dropped drastically. And the expression of myself, of what I kept hidden, has incredibly risen.

I feel weird.

Why do I breathe like an animal every time I am aroused ? How can I feel so horny I can barely talk ? Or even think straight, like, at anytime. I crave so much. Why. And I am so shy. Bad combo. I just try to preserve myself so I can please more people then and not suffer too much anymore.

But... fuck, I need to be used as a fucktoy, I need to feel a body against mine, the heat and the passion of the moment, to please and make people happy, in sex too. It doesn't mean I feel a thing. On the contrary.

@Morgane i don't have any answers, but it's great that you've found this place and that you're now able to do so without old distractions/dysphoria standing in the way <3

@patience Dysphoria still is here, but... yeah. My sexuality has awakened and now I feel more... entire. More myself. Still have a lot to learn. My limits, what I wish for. But it... feels good. To feel desire. Intense desire. Even if it comes with the frustration. Every minute of the day. It feels good.

Thanks !

@Morgane it took me 11 years after voicing to get there to a place where i could be erotically and intimately in touch with my body enough so that the dysphoria didn't consume me into panic. for me in particular, it was only maybe a year or two of that before external life incidents made that more of a challenge. (my life experiences are not common, so fear not)

it's a great feeling, isn't it :)

@patience Yes. Overwhelming. Totally overwhelming. I really enjoy how everyone has its own path. Some way harder than others, but... I don't know of 2 people with the same. I guess because of my past I pay more attention to it ? Anyways. If you have been able to find yourself and feel well, and I hope you are still able to, this is perfect !

@Morgane these days, what i'm working against is a literal zero T count (which you sort of need in small amounts in order to feel horny)… plus two anti-depressants which kill sex drive. but i'm very slowly working on all of this as a medical "project" with my doctor: once the antidepressants and side effects are being managed OK, i'll be working with her to add small amounts of T. (a decade ago, i'd have a tough time believing i'd be saying this, but bodies are weird that way)

@patience Haha, yup. Had read about it. How T is needed for many things and it's better to have a bit.

I don't know for antidepressants (yet, at least... ), but for what's about T... I think mine dropped drastically, I still have to do analysis to know where it stands. Even though I have maybe the lowest dose of cyproteron/androcur possible. it was really effective, really fast and it shows in many ways. Yet that's because it dropped that my sexual arousal could get to life.

.....Bodies are weeeiiird :v