Last night I got inexplicably terrified thinking about death, spun on by neon genesis evangelion. But unlike how it was before, I feel like I've worked past a lot of my feelings and fears in this area. I feel like I can think about it without feeling any crippling panic. It's still deeply sad, and aspects of it are very anxiety inducing. I'm a different person but the same. Life is worth living and love is worth expressing. This is why the end scares me. Before it was only a fear of ego death. Now it's an uneasy acceptance.