Mike @Mike@witches.town

Also, the cans have "THE WAY CIDER SHOULD BE" printed on them and...no sir, just no.

Paid $12 for six cans of fancy hard cider thinking it'd be good, but it's sickeningly sweet. Mistakes were made.

@jeffgerstmann Don't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!

At a bar, watching some goofy show on the History Channel about dudes competing over forging knives...perfect TV for drinking.

@Frankenbeans Really underscores what a difficult problem balancing harassment against freedom of expression at a large scale is.

Going to be an interesting month...rumors have persisted for awhile that my company is laying off more employees in May.

Working the late shift on behalf of a coworker who likely doesn't even appreciate it. Why do I volunteer again? Oh right, brownie points.

Just in general, it's remarkable how many people just barely scrape by in life doing the bare minimum they need to do...and yet the human race survives.

Lost count of the number of times I've walked into a sports bar in New York and the TVs are playing a sports talk show on mute. Beginning to think nobody cares, and sports bars are just an excuse to congregate and drink.

@jeffgerstmann Productivity life hack: Nothing you do matters in the grand span of the universe, so don't sweat it and put effort into the parts of life you feel like putting effort into. 👍

Reminds me of my last job, where a company CEO called me to ask where the question mark on his Blackberry was.

Today at work: Learn how to clear configurations on switches with a grown man who probably gets paid twice as much as I do, but doesn't even know how to spell the word "erase". 🙃

My impatience for winter weather has cost me $260, which sucks, but was probably a lesson worth learning.

I trusted New York City, and that, indeed, was my mistake.

The postman has disappointed me yet again...or more accurately, slow shippers have disappointed me yet again.

Coke is mind-blowingly expensive as it is, I can't imagine being one of those people who shows up to a party and shares his nose candy.

Hour late for work, all because someone on my subway line thought it'd be a good idea to pull the emergency brake.

Protip: Don't do that.

People like to party on coke, but all I ever want to do in the throes of a deep coke binge is write.

TFW I buy a tall boy in NYC and get one of those paper bags from the bodega guy because he's thinking I need that immediately in my system, and that wasn't my original plan but it suddenly sounds good and I'm just like:

@naman It's more the style of humor that she's picky on. Hard to explain though. She likes some nuance but since English is her second language, she can get in over her head kind of fast.