**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 19 déc. 2017, 01:37

**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 19 déc. 2017, 01:37

MeriBeri🍒 @MariBari

19 déc. 2017, 01:37

Gender exploration, transphobia, (-) Afficher plus

Feeling pretty rough right now because I've been feeling very genderqueer recently instead of binary trans woman and while I'm much more comfortable with my body in the context of a nonbinary identity I feel like I'm validating literally everything TERFs say about trans women by not being a Perfect Trans Woman:tm: who always embodies femininity and passes 24/7 and never, ever questions their gender whatsoever

**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 2017-12-19T01:46:03Z

MeriBeri🍒 @MariBari

Gender exploration, transphobia, (-) Afficher plus

Me: Maybe I'm uncomfortable with conforming to the gender binary.

The shitty Gender Gremlin that resides in my brain: Actually, that's just because you literally failed to become the gender you were supposed to be. Congratulations dipshit, the TERFs were right about you all along and nothing you ever do will ever be good enough. Oh, and you're ugly and nobody will ever love you. And the people that already love you are just lying to you. Fuck you.

Me: O-oh...

19 déc. 2017, 01:46 · 0 · 1

**Jude with the 'tude** @JJEden@mastodon.social · 19 déc. 2017, 02:58

**Jude with the 'tude** @JJEden@mastodon.social · 19 déc. 2017, 02:58

19 déc. 2017, 02:58

Jude with the 'tude @JJEden@mastodon.social

Gender exploration, transphobia, (-) Afficher plus

@MariBari TERFs are shit people who don't believe in any gender variance - that doesn't make what you're feeling invalid and it doesn't make you any less trans. Trans people don't have to be binary and they don't have to be consistent, either. <3 Hang in there!

**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 19 déc. 2017, 03:05

**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 19 déc. 2017, 03:05

19 déc. 2017, 03:05

MeriBeri🍒 @MariBari

Gender exploration, transphobia, (-) Afficher plus

@JJEden The problem is that, like, I've been immersed in TERF rhetoric for so long that anything and everything sets off huge amounts of internalized transphobia :(

**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 19 déc. 2017, 03:08

**MeriBeri🍒** @MariBari · 19 déc. 2017, 03:08

19 déc. 2017, 03:08

MeriBeri🍒 @MariBari

Gender exploration, transphobia, (-) Afficher plus

@JJEden Like, I absolutely despise TERFs and never believe their hate speech or harassment... So why is it, then, that I end up hating myself for the exact same reasons they say I should hate myself over? It's very frustrating.

**Jude with the 'tude** @JJEden@mastodon.social · 19 déc. 2017, 03:15

**Jude with the 'tude** @JJEden@mastodon.social · 19 déc. 2017, 03:15

19 déc. 2017, 03:15

Jude with the 'tude @JJEden@mastodon.social

Gender exploration, transphobia, (-) Afficher plus

@MariBari I guess that's just part of being part of an oppressed minority - hearing the same rhetoric your whole life leaves a mark. I still struggle with internalized transphobia too. It's just a work in progress, however unpleasant.