Maggie @Maenad@witches.town

In the meantime here's some things you can do for yourself:
maintain your hygiene
maintain your space
don't eat food that makes you feel bad (emotionally or physically)
remember your meetings and appointments
make DR appointments
go grocery shopping
learn to express, and deal with, your emotions in a healthy way (non-violent, even to inanimate objects (training combat sports doesn't really count as violence to me))

bonus points:
stop using default products unless they really work for you
learn to cook at least three things (and mealplan)
develop a hobby

@Concerned_Catgirl thank you :)

mrggh, if I could edit a post, I'd remove "eat junk" from that thread.

But it's a real thing - I don't judge people for eating food, I get a little sad and/or irritated if they eat food that makes them feel bad.

@distelfliege I think this is actually a real societal problem. Like, I actually don't mean this to be a scathing indictment of any man in particular - I think boys grow up thinking that they can live for their relationship and never develop personalities of their own outside of that.

Can we stop, for a second, and talk about how EXHAUSTING it is for the women (and enbies) in your life, doing your emotional labor, for you to argue that the societal phenomenon that foists that labor on them doesn't exist? Or that you are somehow exempt form it?

I am not saying you're the cause of the problem - I know you're not.

But come to the table so we can talk about how to fix it. And in the meantime, don't assume the women in your life will magically fill the holes that society never told you to fill.

Here's the problem - you expected girls (including me) to be your manic pixie dream girl. You put off doing any sort of emotional labor and assumed the women in your life would do it for you.

And sometimes, they did.

In the meantime, you got STEM degrees, and thought that what you had to contribute to your partners came from your homemaking ability.

THIS IS TOXIC MASCULINITY. It hurts you, too.

Now, you say things like "not all men", and talk about how you, and your friends, were the exception to the rule.

You weren't.

Oh god, you weren't.

Dear boys I knew in college -

For the most part, you weren't rapey (surprising, because you were a group of nerd boys). Occasionally you'd touch me uninvited but for the most part, you stopped when asked. You'd call each other out and hold each other to a better standard.

But it seemed, as a rule, that you were waiting for a girl to come in and change your life for the better. You'd eat junk. You'd avoid making plans. Until a girl came in and changed that. In the meantime, you were bitter that the girls around you didn't choose you.

@Kat I can tag you everytime I refill my water bottle?

@Concerned_Catgirl that would be nice

I don't hate the new one but my eyes are so used to the old one

hey if you need some emotional labor like
don't be afraid to ask for it

therapist said "you're obviously really athletic" looking at me and... holy shit it's nice to finally have a doctor that can see past my weight O.O

today's scarygoround is pretty great (cw:
animal cruelty???)(http://www.scarygoround.com/) but like...

can we just admire the fact that "if you want me to stop using her as a footstool, buy us a footstool" is the most poly kink household thing to say ever

Physical therapy was fun and the dude did some sweet body art on me (cw: foot)

should probably add greyro to my profile at some point

I like affection and will tell you I love you here and there but too much direct attention will send me running

@chosafine even in the short run, I think

maintaining mental health >>> improving employability (atm)

@chosafine movie about lesbeans

classes I should take with my "one free class a semester" benefit - a math refresher, maybe an actual CS class

classes I'm going to take - an art class, maybe a gym class

@chosafine we all know that should autocomplete to "a cheerleader"