people used to gravitate towards me

somehow they found me charming or charismatic or somehow otherwise appealing

I fully believe I can be that way again. I just need to get my foot in the door.

my issue is, nobody has fucking talked to me in college

except for that one dude I never heard from again

there have been a few times people have tried

but it's always been... nothingness. small-talk before a class or at a bus stop.I don't understand how to make friends as an adult

sure, there's "go try a hobby"

but whenever I'm new somewhere, I feel like people aren't talking to me because they want to

I feel like they're doing it because they feel like they have to because I'm new

it feels so forced and insincere

it feels like it won't go anywhere

but I'm stuck

even if I moved back to my adopted hometown, it's been THREE YEARS since I left

nobody there even really gives a shit about me anymore

I'm just someone they partied with in high school

we've all already drifted apart

if I moved back, nobody would want to hang out with me

a few have said they want to chill with me if I'm ever in town

but there's that fear that they wouldn't, by the time I'd move back, whenever that'd be