(yes, I know that's not normal in academia for contemporary male scientists, but it used to be)

@kara_dreamer I mean there's a larger cultural trend there.

Stories of male partnerships tend to be with other men, and not romantic. (Buddy cop movies are the classic for me, but there are others).

Stories of female partnerships tend to be romantic.

It's fucking disgusting.

That said, I want my life partner to be separate from my work. Science as an all consuming passion is a toxic ideal - it's work, and work life balance is good, and makes you a better scientist. I don't want to do work with my life partner over dinner, I want to relax.

@Maenad I suppose I have a bit of cultural programming to rewrite. You do get the occasional storied partnership between two men but almost never in the sciences (apropos of nothing, Diels and Alder apparently hated each other).

I have never and at this rate probably will never have a job as a scientist, so I can still afford to treat it as a passion. It's the only thing that's gotten me through some days, that way

@kara_dreamer I've seen a couple in the sciences.

Anderson and May being the one that immediately springs to mind, but Watson and Crick is another example, and that's just in my immediate orbit.

@Maenad Watson and Crick are partners in science the way that Burke and Hare were partners in medicine