I've had this article saved for a while and finally read it: "The Pursuit of Androgyny" https://medium.com/gender-2-0/the-pursuit-of-androgyny-6a0ffa7aa1ff

I'm coming at it from the "other" angle, AMAB genderqueer wanting to be andro, and have thought AFAB had it "easier" (not that it's a contest) for he same reasons the author thought AMAB did.

(The rest will be threaded behind cw)

Namely: I'm not thin. A woman at my weight would have obvious breasts. I don't, therefore I'm "male".

From the author's perspective: they have breasts. Therefore, they're "female".

I guess the issue is the same, which is binarism and fatphobia. But that's a great article, and it was interesting to see "AMAB people can wear makeup and skirts and I can't" when I've thought "AFAB people can (ibid)"

And of course I don't actually think AFAB people have it easier in any sense of the word. What I really mean is that makeup and skirts for me would be Weird, whereas masculine-as-default means an AFAB person wearing a suit wouldn't be.

I guess you get misgendered the same amount, but I see it as being able to be more fluid in your presentation.

@dconley I've often seen it described that, for AMAB people, being 'feminine' is seen as degrading - as making themselves less-than, whereas an AFAB person 'emulating masculinity' is the opposite. If I walked into work in a binder and a men's suit, it'd be Bold and Daring and Cool. I'm allowed more space to express than AMAB people are because, on the Privilege Food Chain, I'm moving 'up' rather than 'down'.

@dconley on some level, for an AFAB person to be seen as imitating masculinity is understandable because our culture values masculinity more. why wouldn't we want to emulate it? but for an AMAB to want to express femininity is 'not understandable' because femininity isn't seen as worth having.