ok I'm gonna do it prepare yourselves for the awfulness #HPcringe
someone made a female Harry and named her HELICONIA
#HPcringe
"Snape had not expected that one side effect of being brought back from the dead would be a permanent erection."
thank you for that image
thank you
"Severus Snape discovers he has a bit of a kink."
Trevor the toad is tagged as a character in that fic
I really hope it's unrelated
"Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are investigating a manor that has been reported to have dark magic. They are in for a surprise when they discover two Avengers, two MI6 operatives, and two hunters have also turned up."
sounds like a train wreck #HPcringe
" Dark, how did this get so dark?, It happened so fast, it was never going to be fluff, but seriously what is wrong with me?"
you're the author you have CONTROL over you fic
you control the fic
it doesn't control you
deep breaths, author
" Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger/Cormac McLaggen"
wtf is this pairing (can you say pairing if there are three people?) from hell
" Meanwhile, after disappearing from the Wizarding World and moving to America for seven years, Draco Malfoy has become a famous Hollywood actor"
what the fuck
"Seventh year Hogwarts student Severus Snape accidentally travels through a time portal trying to escape the torments of James Potter and Sirius Black"
so
there was a time portal
just lying around
and you can accidentally travel through it
but only Snape did it apparently
sounds a little, a tiny bit, far-fetched
""In the name of inter-departmental cooperation," Malfoy says flatly, "I cede to your authority."
a.k.a the magic dildo story"
well this escalated quickly #HPcringe
"Voldemort is Harry's Father, Harry Potter is Voldemort's Child"
yes one usually implies the other #HPcringe
"Harry Potter and his Boyfriend's Massive Cock"
well at least it's quite clear what the fic is about #HPcringe
"the shiny, pearly egg that once sat in its pouch is rapidly beginning to cool.
Fast. He has to think fast."
so
guess where he put it
to keep it warm
yes
yes
it is in his ass
"What would have happened if Harry was actually expelled from Hogwarts before his fifth year, and went to live with Sirius? Order of the Phoenix AU, Harry/Sirius slash"
why would you ruin what could have been a nice family fic by putting Harry and Sirius together?
#HPcringe
"Lucius Malfoy/Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Severus Snape"
"this is fluff"
well given the 'pairing' I wouldn't have guessed
#HPcringe
"Butterbeer contains real Alcohol!AU"
???
that's
quite a specific AU
and an unnecessary one, just have them drink something else omg
" I don't know what the title is, I pulled it out of my anal cavity just now"
I love AO3 tags
#HPcringe
"Sirius breathes."
(that's the whole summary)
well that's nice I guess
he hasn't been doing a lot of that lately
"Hermione needs a place to stay. Harry's happy to help and let her stay at Grimmauld Place, problem is, Snape's already living there."
stop reviving Snape #HPcringe
and I'm stopping there for today #HPcringe
I hope you had fun
actually I'm glad that most of the authors featured on #HPcringe enjoy themselves writing, at least
even if I won't read things like "Harry Potter and his Boyfriend's Massive Cock"
EXCEPT for the things like unhealthy pairings (I saw a "dubcon" Snape/Neville... ) stop with that shit
@Hiraelle (like ... daddy snape D: ?)
@bram no not daddy snape or at least I don't think so (dubcon is "dubious consent" btw)
@Hiraelle (-___- ... that's ... problematic.)
@bram yeah they say "dubcon" but "dubcon" is always just "rape".
I mean come on. if there is any doubt I can't read it any other way.
@bram I don't feature them on my hashtag.
@bram I see a LOT of shit, but I share the cringy shit, not the horrific shit
@Hiraelle thx for that <3
@bram ye I won't make people laugh at a rape hashtag or at an incest hashtag this is just not funny
but we can laugh at "Harry Potter and his Boyfriend's Massive Cock"
(it's Massive)
@bram mh, tags, not hashtags
@Hiraelle (have you verified?)
@bram (no I trust the author)
@Hiraelle (what a lack of scientific commitment 😁)
@Hiraelle those things suddenly became way less funny :/