@gravezwave it's Snape I don't wanna know about his erections, permanent or not

@Hiraelle tru

@Hiraelle I feel like the author is also not taking into account all the drawbacks of a permanent erection, such as gangrene. there's a reason you're not supposed to have one lasting longer than four hours, the blood doesn't circulate.

@Hiraelle I don't know why I'm this concerned with the faulty science behind a Harry Potter smutfic

@gravezwave no they're not taking that into account

definitely not

@Hiraelle Gosh please, not Snape and Trevor...

@Andaan they're not tagged as a pairing so I think it's unrelated

but the doubt is there

@Hiraelle I hope it's just our twisted mind...

"Tree Sex"

AGAIN?

#HPcringe

@Hiraelle I'm bored and decided to join you and

"Xenophilius Lovegood/Lucius Malfoy"

@gravezwave congratulations and welcome to the world of HP cringe

@gravezwave be aware that there are really AWFUL things in there tho

@Hiraelle I'm still not over the Harry/Voldemort Titanic AU tbh

@Hiraelle the Humping Willow

@luluberlu there's a fic called that and I don't wanna read it http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600097406

@Hiraelle of course there is, I wrote it

(not really)

"Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are investigating a manor that has been reported to have dark magic. They are in for a surprise when they discover two Avengers, two MI6 operatives, and two hunters have also turned up."

sounds like a train wreck #HPcringe

" Dark, how did this get so dark?, It happened so fast, it was never going to be fluff, but seriously what is wrong with me?"

you're the author you have CONTROL over you fic

you control the fic
it doesn't control you

deep breaths, author

#HPcringe

" Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger/Cormac McLaggen"

wtf is this pairing (can you say pairing if there are three people?) from hell

#HPcringe

" Meanwhile, after disappearing from the Wizarding World and moving to America for seven years, Draco Malfoy has become a famous Hollywood actor"

what the fuck

#HPcringe

"but no worries, no one dies, yet, (joke), (hopefully)"

gotta love AO3 tags

#HPcringe

"Seventh year Hogwarts student Severus Snape accidentally travels through a time portal trying to escape the torments of James Potter and Sirius Black"

so
there was a time portal
just lying around
and you can accidentally travel through it

but only Snape did it apparently

sounds a little, a tiny bit, far-fetched

#HPcringe

@Hiraelle en plus en septième année ça fait pas un (petit) moment qu'ils se sont calmés?

@sempervirenx je sais plus s'ils s'étaient calmés où si James faisait gaffe de se fight avec Snape quand Lily était pas dans le coin juste

@Hiraelle tu me mets le doute du coup
Mais bon en septième année ils ont autre chose à foutre je pense

@sempervirenx oui et en plus c'était la guerre

enfin la cohérence a pas l'air d'étouffer cet auteur hein

""In the name of inter-departmental cooperation," Malfoy says flatly, "I cede to your authority."

a.k.a the magic dildo story"

well this escalated quickly #HPcringe

"Voldemort is Harry's Father, Harry Potter is Voldemort's Child"

yes one usually implies the other #HPcringe

"Harry Potter and his Boyfriend's Massive Cock"

well at least it's quite clear what the fic is about #HPcringe

@Hiraelle Harry Rooster

"the shiny, pearly egg that once sat in its pouch is rapidly beginning to cool.

Fast. He has to think fast."

so

guess where he put it

to keep it warm

yes

yes

it is in his ass

#HPcringe

"What would have happened if Harry was actually expelled from Hogwarts before his fifth year, and went to live with Sirius? Order of the Phoenix AU, Harry/Sirius slash"

why would you ruin what could have been a nice family fic by putting Harry and Sirius together?
#HPcringe

@Hiraelle Oh fuck. Like. I expected that to be family-like. Would have been perfect. Indeed, ruining a nice family fic' imo.

@Morgane yeeess ;-; I read the beginning of the summary like "oh maybe I'll read it later" and then "oh nope. nope nope nope."

"Lucius Malfoy/Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Severus Snape"
"this is fluff"

well given the 'pairing' I wouldn't have guessed
#HPcringe

"Butterbeer contains real Alcohol!AU"

???
that's
quite a specific AU

and an unnecessary one, just have them drink something else omg

#HPcringe

" I don't know what the title is, I pulled it out of my anal cavity just now"

I love AO3 tags
#HPcringe

"Sirius breathes."

(that's the whole summary)

well that's nice I guess

he hasn't been doing a lot of that lately

#HPcringe

"Hermione needs a place to stay. Harry's happy to help and let her stay at Grimmauld Place, problem is, Snape's already living there."

stop reviving Snape #HPcringe

and I'm stopping there for today #HPcringe

I hope you had fun

actually I'm glad that most of the authors featured on #HPcringe enjoy themselves writing, at least
even if I won't read things like "Harry Potter and his Boyfriend's Massive Cock"

EXCEPT for the things like unhealthy pairings (I saw a "dubcon" Snape/Neville... ) stop with that shit

@Hiraelle (like ... daddy snape D: ?)

@bram no not daddy snape or at least I don't think so (dubcon is "dubious consent" btw)

@Hiraelle (-___- ... that's ... problematic.)

@bram yeah they say "dubcon" but "dubcon" is always just "rape".
I mean come on. if there is any doubt I can't read it any other way.

@Hiraelle those things suddenly became way less funny :/

@bram I don't feature them on my hashtag.

@bram I see a LOT of shit, but I share the cringy shit, not the horrific shit

@Hiraelle thx for that <3

@bram ye I won't make people laugh at a rape hashtag or at an incest hashtag this is just not funny

but we can laugh at "Harry Potter and his Boyfriend's Massive Cock"

(it's Massive)

@bram mh, tags, not hashtags

@Hiraelle (have you verified?)

@bram (no I trust the author)

@Hiraelle (what a lack of scientific commitment 😁)

@Hiraelle shitty au, i want to try butterbeer once without alcohol in. like, else i'd drink beer. or whatever. i want butterbeer as butterbeer shall be :<

@Hiraelle are those randomly generated

@bram I wish but no