@Eve I relate to that sentiment. I recently read that depression "shrinks" the brain. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/30/chronic-depression-shrinks-brains-memories-and-emotions
They suggest the damage is reversible, and for me, I think of myself opening mental doors as well. Like, I've kept so much space inside my mind for internalized transphobia that I can eject that trauma into space and take up more meaningful residence inside myself. It is hard when you're just trying to grow at all, I do feel very stretched thin.