A friend just said the "true initiation never ends," and today I'm wondering if that's just not true and I'm not the counterexample.

I feel like that whole part of my life has just ground to a halt completely. It was waning, and now, at least for the moment, it's basically gone.

I'm just having a really bad brain day, feeling obsolete and superfluous and taken for granted on one hand, richly deserving of it on the other.

#moodsnapshot: the old Spiderman meme that ends up "and I'm just sitting here masturbating."

I'm delighted that The Kids seem to be all right. There seems to be a lot of joy in this community still, and I see people doing a lot of amazing things.

I can't pretend they're not things I'd badly wanted, set out at some point in my life to get, and feel right now like I've botched utterly and, this time, permanently.

Thought I'd fixed this problem for good when I got a social circle. :|