@guerrillarain Oh, wow.. Been there, and I saw a lot of others in your replied saying something similar.

I'm not sure what it boils down to, too. Hearing it from you & others, I would say I felt some sort of "intersectionality discrimination score" going on, with some calculation of visibility times duration times suffering from discrimination. Like "I'm not as queer as the queer woman kicked out of home at 13."

I guess the only thought that gives me some relief is that the only time I felt "expertise/authority competition" was during some capitalistic objectification of human life and values.
I'm still suffering with it in some other ways today. :x