Since nobody knows me here, I might as well vent here about my romantic life.
So I'm in an open relationship with one person and I have a lover who happens to be my monogamous ex.
The thing is, I kinda want to go back with my ex and that means breaking up with my partner.
The situation is complicated with both of them... (like it usually is when it comes to this matter)
On ther other side, my partner already broke up with me once, bc of the distance but also mainly bc I was always having anxiety attacks when I was coming to see him (but it wasn't bc of him).
He came back to me and I agreed to be with him again. But my trust was kinda brocken...
The distance is now a problem for *me*. We can't see each other much bc money and I don't feel close to him anymore.
I mean I still have feelings, but my ex feels more like a boyfriend than he does.
So here I am.
I can either maintain the status quo knowing it won't hold forever, and probably end up with my current bf whether I want it or not.
Or i could try to be with my ex again, but it means being able to take care of myself and Idk how much time it will take...
I accept advice as well as support.
It didn't end too badly with my ex. I regret things I did, but the breakup somehow improved our relationship, even romantically speaking (we're still in love with each other).
One of the reasons we broke up didn't disappear though, and it's: him not imagining a future with me. I'm mentally ill and heavily struggle with my studies. I tried a number of them, failed all. I'm not financially independant, can't rly have a job atm.