FST @FStewartT@witches.town

jossum

my phone is on the other side of the room, so i'll just never know why it's buzzing. buzz buzz buzz, meaningless

i made myself a dr appointment for something that is likely nothing but could be something, rather than assuming that if i don't die of it it's fine, really fucking living in the lap of luxury here.

'us' being this handful of people who i am mapping like spokes (inaccurately, a bad map!) around myself, 'us' being 'the people i have to pull more scraps of functionality to help' but, realistically, a broader us has never mustered those resources either.

it was like..... October? November? The last time one of us had a crisis which required mobilizing insufficient resources to fend off material harm, so not so bad that we're back to a (different) version of that in January.

i guess bc if you live in contingency and vulnerability, where's the all the way to get folks too; like, what's the other end of perpetual crisis and what does it look like to get there.

we're all, you know, Trying. We're all trying so much! but we're never gonna pull it off for long enough to get those of us most endangered all the way.

Nobody i love has enough of the things that make it possible for a community to be healthy.

sure, loud hyperventilating is real freaky, but A CERTAIN CAT is supposed to help with that

why even have emotional support pets if they're afraid of you when you're having a panic attack

a goddamn brand followed me, here, on Mastodon, why even is that allowed.

grad school is very uh i'm a small fish in a small pond full of medium sized fish and all of the fish are supposed to grow up to be megalodons but regardless of size some of you are gonna end up, like, sushi.

in that order, mercifully

but i get to sleeeeeeeeeeep and skype Aaron tomorrow

rough couple days of classes and teaching and being a person more-or-less in the world

i'm like, /fond/ of foucault now. i still don't understand him, but he's like my buddy. we're pals.

I've been noting 'discourse' as "dickscourse" in my notes for /months/, which is finally relevant and/or 'correct' with foucault

jiscourse: Jeans Discourse

me: I love teaching! Wow! Teaching!
students: .... are you SURE?

good morning i've been reading about a r c h i v e s and it's real shrimpteresting how much faith (some!) archivists have in the value/possibility of 'checks and balances' against gov't abuse