i think there's a lack of understanding around how personal boundaries work in the way we talk about responding to selfies.

When I've pointed out to people that their comments on my selfies were unappreciated they've said like "Oh sorry I didn't know you weren't OK with people doing that I saw others doing it and thought you were OK with it"

yeah, those were *other people* boundaries are between two individuals not between someone and everyone else

Like it reminds me of when someone sees you hug a friend and then expects you would hug them as well, but they are not your friend. That's not how that works.

Before you comment on someone's appearance what you should be thinking about is "Does this person know me? Are we friends? What kind of dynamic do we have between each other?"

If you aren't even mutuals with me, your flirts are not cute they're catcalling. I do like being flirted with; not from strangers

@shel ughhhhh, this is a super good articulation. a friend's partner, who i guess doesn't realize we aren't friends, faves my selfies on twitter and occasionally calls me handsome, and i'm like "NOPE, NOT YOU, BUDDY. BACK OFF!!!!!"

@shel which feels unfair since I use that language for/about myself (although sort of 'ironically' so that's another thing), but like...... I Don't Know Him That Way. We Aren't Friends.