an irl acquaintance of mine changed their facebook name to one w/ a different gender connotation but still introduces themselves by what i take to be their legal name irl, and idk if asking about that would be wildly out of line.

i mean, in private, obvi, i wouldn't be like 'but what IS your identity????????' at a meeting or w/e. I just don't know what the least rude/most positively polite action here is.

@FStewartT i think it’s okay to ask “do you want to be called <Facebook name> irl?” if you are more than passing acquaintances.

@silby i might could if we start seeing each other socially, rather than thru this org? but since they used (other name) at the meeting, i assume they want to be called that name in that context.