maybe the most Hampshire College thing is an acquaintance of mine fundraised to found a comedy camp for tween girls, realized she couldn't pull it off, and kept the money to take comedy classes herself, because she decided it was 'within the spirit' of what the money was raised for.
i've spent a lot of time trying to picture what it must be like to be that confident in yourself, and it's just not within my reach. i can't even start to imagine.
@shel there's a reason "they mean well" was like my number one thinly veiled hostility comment throughout my time in the valley.
@FStewartT oh yeah i remember you saying that a lot
@shel it's the 'bless their heart' of the non-theologically inclined
@FStewartT it's got that extra punch though of the unspoken "but..."
@shel 'bless their heart' doesn't /not/ have that, tho?
@shel 'bless their heart' is infamous for being a 'but....'
@FStewartT i feel like with "bless their heart" the but comes off as like "don't actually" but with "they mean well" it comes off as "but they don't do it very well" which is maybe different? idk maybe i just don't hear "bless their heart" enough outside of cartoonish parodies of the south
@shel oh, see, 'bless their heart' as it is did by southerners is extremely multivalent, and one of the uses is 'it's wrong to speak ill of the incompetent'
@FStewartT ooohhh i was not aware
@shel @FStewartT Can confirm. As a post-religious person from Georgia, that's the only way I use "Bless their heart."
@shel i'm always frustrated that non-southerners have only picked up or picked out the 'i hate this person' use, rather than the sort of vein of thick passive aggression and commentary on other personal qualities that comes with it.
@shel it's /condescending/ more than hateful.
@FStewartT I've learned the best way to fake it is to stop thinking and just act. Rather than think that I know what I'm doing, the trick is to not think at all.
Unfortunately the price is that I later sit and freak out because people actually believed I was confident - and that's scary.
@polychrome this is in general good advice, but i would note that the situation i described is absolutely not a positive one.
@polychrome very much a context issue.
@FStewartT Oh wow, I didnt notice the first toot in the thread - yeah my advice seriously looks off now. 😖
Sorry about that! .. hope it helps in general tho.
@polychrome hahah, well, fake it till you make it is a time honored strategy. Possibly for stealing people's money as well!
@FStewartT i can't understand justifying that to myself i can't get in that headspace and also yes a LOT of people at hamp were very like that somehow