FRIENDS

MY D20 GROUP DID ANOTHER GAME

BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR Y'ALL

I call this one "Pissbaby's Revenge"

So my new d20 character (A Surly Mandalorian Mom) and her son-in-law got invited by the head of <Hell Guild> to accompany them on a bounty. OOCly, this was a show of good faith to tell us how the group's changed its behavior.

We get there, and there's a group of Light Sith hiding from the Inquisition. The leader wants us to rescue his daughter from Korriban, where she's an apprentice under a dickbag Lord. He'll accompany us to ensure that she gets to safety.

So, we all head to Korriban.

The party gets there. We manage to find the target relatively quickly and, when talking her down fails, we enter into combat.

WE ARE HERE, REMEMBER, TO RESCUE THE DAUGHTER.

SHE IS TECHNICALLY A BOUNTY, BUT SHE IS WANTED ALIVE.

THIS IS IMPORTANT.

We do a few rounds of combat, and nobody's rolling great, so aside from some scrapes and bruises, most of the party is in good shape.

It is at this point we get an invite from a member of the party to join the ops group we use for dice rolls.

The invite is from Pissbaby.

Pissbaby joins the ops group. I'm upset that I wasn't asked about this b/c of my previous negative experiences with him, but fuck it. Whatevs. I'll give him at least a chance.

He watches a round of combat of the party against the daughter. We are very, very clearly saying things like "Make sure we get her alive!" and using stun blasters and adhesive grenades. This is blatant.

The first thing he says is: "i SHOW UP WHEN IT'S TIME TO FILL BODY BAGS"

It is at this point that I mt "oh here we fucking go" into genchat, and also pour myself a JD & Coke

Things progress normally until pissbaby's turn.

Now. There's a couple things to know about Bounty Hunters in Star Wars:
1. Bounty Hunters have a level of professional pride in doing contracts to the exact specification.
2. If a contract is wanted alive, you *must* deliver them alive.
3. "Bounty Killers" are universally reviled by any self-respecting hunter.

So when I say that my char hears him talking shit & yells "Bounty Killer!" at Pissbaby, I want you to know that EVERY motherfucker in that fight immediately swings their guns around and starts targeting him.

Even the target! Who is hostile to us!

SO Pissbaby decides the best course of action, instead of just "not being an asshole who fights the party for shits & giggles", is to throw thermal detonators at everyone in the fight.

The IC justification for this is that he "never liked bringing targets in alive anyway" and "I don't want to share the reward money."

And you can just tell the DM is fucking livid but he's like "fuck it, roll it anyway."

Pissbaby rolls a nat 20.

And the DM's just like "I mean, I want to stop him but HE ROLLED A NAT 20 GUYS"

Since my character is:
1. Mandalorian
2. An Echani

I'd minmaxed the FUCK out of Fortitude Defense and Reflex Defense.

So I'm the only person still standing. In fact, I'm literally unscathed.

Which is good, because it's also my turn.