I think ideation should be seen like pain on a 10/10 scale, with 10 being the most you've rationalized/conceptualized/envisioned your end and how

Like with pain you aren't going to die just because a pain is a 10/10 or you are sitting at 10/10 for a week or so

But it should come to no surprise from the greater world watching that someone at a 10/10 is not going to survive long if unable to alleviate it in some way

Resiliance is 'Jesus fuck how many new 10s were there last year? This is only a 8' while so deep in the grey you almost go into the step past ideation but the process gets aborted because dishes needed to be done and even though you rationalized it being ok for your friends to clean up the worst mess there could ever be, it would be really dickish to leave tye dirty dishes too

And you just end up forgetting about it and go to bed early grumbling at your headache, forgetting to do the dishes

@CursedConfetti :( :( :( That's really rough. Sending *hugs* if wanted, and positive vibes/support.