Sometimes it just... I'm just so fucking bitter?
Like, sometimes, I'll see that someone is doing fucking well, or whatever, just positive stuff in general...
and I'll just be so fucking bitter and jealous, even egotistical? Like why the fuck are you happy and I'm not? Why am I just sitting here in pain, teary-eyed, lonely, fucking bitter, hating myself, my face, my body, my thoughts, wanting to cease to exist, ... and you're there like "falala, life is beautiful", like "no, fuck off, you're making me feel like I'm doing everything wrong"'

And then I'll feel guilty