if someone reacts negatively to you and it's not really your fault and likely due to something on their end, you shouldn't feel very bad or take it personally, right?
I DO
can ruin my damn day. seems like something i need to work on more.
suspect a well-developed sense of self-confidence is a key factor. and an ability to be OK with people not being warm toward you 24/7.
should have allocated more points to these skills earlier
@alyx I feel your pain. And to be honest, it's 100% ok to take things personally :)
@alyx While it's true that to take things personally is painful, there are moments when one can't help but to do so, even if it wasn't anything personal.
In my experience, to allow myself to take something personally and to feel pain, is less painful than to not allow myself to take this something personally and to feel the pain when it's happening anyways. And by allowing it, I find I can handle it better and to make my pain go away quicker.
This is of course my experience, and for other people it could be different. :)
@Agra thanks for sharing. that's really interesting.
i guess i am preoccupied by the thought that some feelings are "wrong," such as taking something personally when it's probably not, and thus feeling like i'm failing if i feel that thing
@alyx And when this happens, one tends to repress the "wrong" feelings, which makes them stronger. In addition to feel you are failing,as you nicely said.
@Agra cheers.
i'm curious why you say it's ok. taking things personally when they're not seems like an unnecessary cause of pain?