And because of that I can perfectly feel how I am loosing my mind, how I begin to feel like I don't belong to this world, like I am wrong, like I should better be dead. Like a part of me knows I should get on sick leave and search some better place where I am treated like the human being I am, and I can just be myself, while another part of me sometimes wishes to end all this in a drastic way.

And at the same time I feel too exhausted to do anything.